How Will I Get Him to Propose?
'Getting' him to propose is as easy as herding cats.
If you’re wondering how you’ll get him to propose, stop right there.
The fact is, you can’t get him to do anything he doesn’t want to. Not now. Not after you’re married. Never.
You can’t get him to stop wearing his “lucky socks” to the game. You can’t get him to take out the trash. You can’t get him to quit talking to an old girlfriend. And, you can’t get him to propose.
Instead of asking “How will I get him to propose?”, you should ask, “What’s preventing him from proposing?”
You need to help him overcome the barriers that prevent him from doing what he really wants to do: Marry you.
The answer may be more deeply hidden than you expect. It’s not just his fear of commitment. It’s why he’s worried about commitment, about marriage, and maybe about you.
There are things he’s worrying about, and they’re buried deep in his subconscious. He couldn’t even tell you this stuff if you asked him… unless you already knew what to ask.
The wrong questions will drive him further away. In fact, it could lead to a really ugly conversation that leaves both of you angry, and perhaps even makes you break up, permanently.
Before you throw in the towel, or — worse — try to pry into his tangled logic about marriage, please go watch the free Girl Gets Ring video. Yes, it really is free, and it’s not a sales pitch. T. Dub Jackson gives you enough useful information to make a big difference in your relationship right away. (It’s not some stupid teaser. This is information that other people charge big bucks for, and he’s giving it away. He’s launched a “million marriage crusade,” and he seriously wants to help a million couples get married.)
Your guy probably wants to get married as much as you do. He’s probably as deeply in love as you are, whether he’ll admit it or not.
He’s trapped by stereotypes, insecurities, and things he needs to hear from you, but he doesn’t know what to ask.
The free Girl Gets Ring video will explain that to you, and show you exactly what to do next.
Before you watch that video, pour yourself a cup of coffee. Grab a pen and some notepaper. It’s a long video and you’re going to want to take notes. I don’t mean you should take notes… I mean, as soon as you hear what T. Dub explains about men and getting him to propose, you’re going to practically climb across the keyboard to learn more. You’ll want to take notes… lots of them. (I took six pages of notes, the first time I watched that video.)
Yes, it takes a guy to explain this stuff. No woman is likely to figure this out on her own. Seriously. The logic… it sort of makes sense, when you look at it, but really… nobody tells you this stuff about men, marriage and commitment.
T. Dub is going to explain what’s buried under all that macho nonsense about “fear of commitment” and staying single. Once you really understand this, you won’t even need to ask your guy what it’ll take to get him to propose.
You’ll already have the answers. You’ll already know exactly what to say, and how to assure him so your man is comfortable proposing to you. It’ll seem like the logical thing to do, and like you read his mind.
There’s nothing manipulative about this. Forget playing games or acting “hard to get” or giving him an ultimatum. Those don’t work.
The Girl Gets Ring approach is based on 100% honesty… and it’s that honesty that will get you both to the altar, together, and taking your next step to “happily ever after.”
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Fear of Commitment
Does marriage set off his 'fear of commitment' alarms?
Fear of commitment seems to be a huge problem preventing marriage. It’s not just guys who have commitment issues. Women worry about commitment, too.
Let’s start with the stereotypes, and how damaging they can be.
Men fear commitment
One reason men fear commitment is social conditioning. Seriously, they get all kinds of bad advice (and terrible role models) from TV shows and movies.
Remember that movie, The Bachelor? All those brides chasing the character played by Chris O’Donnell… that’s an iconic image, and one of many that reinforce the idea that men are running from marriage. That’s what Real Men do… right?
Wrong.
However, that movie (preview below) is such a classic example of the stereotype presented to men, it’s worth studying.
Movies like that — where your date probably identifies with the handsome male lead — reinforce everything he’s ever learned about looking like “a real man” by acting-out his fear of commitment.
It’s not healthy, and it can be difficult to overcome if you don’t understand the real roots of commitment phobias.
Fear of commitment in women
Women fear commitment, too. Men don’t have a monopoly on marriage phobia.
Women worry that he’s not the right kind of man for a successful marriage. Is he really read to be faithful to you, long term? Will that “seven-year itch” mean divorce? Will yours be one of the 41% to 50% of first marriages that fail? (Or, if this is a second or third marriage for either of you, will yours be among the 60% to 74% that end in divorce?)
With women, the fears aren’t only about marriage. They also worry about children: Whether he wants any, and how responsible he’ll be, as a dad.
Most women don’t want to press the issue of children, but it’s always there, and they worry that Mr. Right won’t agree with their family goals. It’s an unspoken issue that can cause tremendous fear of commitment in women.
It’s not that women don’t want to commit to a marriage; they’re simply afraid they’ve picked the wrong guy. It’s made worse when he’s following the stereotype, acting phobic about popping the question or even talking about the future. The bride-to-be is afraid to ask important questions like: Do you want children, and how many? Do you expect me to continue working, or be a stay-at-home mom?
That’s the tip of the iceberg.
The truth is, everyone is afraid of commitment. They’re worried about picking the right marriage partner. They’re also worried about selecting the best subject to major in, in college. They’re concerned about saying “yes” to the right job offer, and buying the right house.
These are all long-term commitments, and a person would be a little crazy not to be anxious about making the right decision.
However, those commitment worries will linger until you realize what’s behind them. There are very specific ways to overcome commitment phobias, and they’re simple to solve… if you know what to look for, what questions to ask, and the kinds of answers each of you need.
That’s where the Girl Gets Ring system comes in. The good news is, you don’t need to spend a cent. You’re going to discover some important answers to commitment issues in the free — no commitment — video lesson at this link: Girl Gets Ring.
Watch what T. Dub Jackson explains in that video. I think you’re going to be absolutely amazed. You’ll also find a hefty dose of relief when you see how simple it is to overcome his fears of commitment as well as your own.
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Dating and Marriage – Does He Want to Get Married?
When you’re dating with marriage in mind, you need to know if he even wants to get married.
Some men don’t. They’re more Mr. Never than Mr. Right.
In my opinion, your first date — or even before your first date — should start with a reality check: Ask him how he feels about marriage. (You can and probably should save the topic of children for later.)
Make it clear: You’re not asking if he wants to marry you. It’s a general question, like whether he plans to go to (or go back to) grad school.
Maybe he’s eagerly looking for the right woman. Or, that could be in his plans for two or three years from now.
That’s a good starting point.
However, in some cases, the guy has no interest in marriage, now or ever. He doesn’t want a wife. He doesn’t want children. He’s looking for a fun, reliable relationship with no strings attached. Often, a man like that will use a phrase like “friends, with benefits.”
Or, he”ll laugh and — especially if other, single men are around — joke, “Marriage is an institution, and I’m not ready for an institution yet.”
At the other extreme, his eyes will narrow. (He thinks it looks sexy.) Then, he’ll coo, “Sure, baby. I want to get married real soon.” An R-rated caress usually follows.
If you’re looking for a husband, this is the wrong guy to date. You want a man with integrity, whose goals that match yours, and someone who’s on a similar timetable, as well.
Commitment issues can be a problem. Here’s one explanation of why some men are afraid of relationships, and what you can do about it.
I have never met a potential date who was offended when I asked him, flat out, whether or not he was looking for a wife.
If he wasn’t, there were no arguments or hurt feelings. We cheerfully agreed not to date but remain friends.
So, despite all the warnings that the “M” word will scare the guy, I think it’s smart to discuss the subject before you schedule your first date… or certainly before the second or third date.
You’re simply establishing the ground rules. You’re not even in a relationship yet, so there’s no pressure. It’s all intellectual, not personal.
Of course, the man could change his mind. Or, once you’ve dated, either of you could decide it’s not a match.
However, at the start, you know you share mutual goals and timetables. That’s important.
Here’s one relationship counselor’s viewpoint:
If you’re already in a relationship, it can be difficult to ask about marriage. Maybe you don’t want marriage yet, either, but you want to be sure you’re not investing time and emotions in a relationship that’s going nowhere.
It can be awkward to ask, but sometimes it’s better to clear the air.
Here’s a pep talk to help you ask the important questions:
Here’s a man’s viewpoint on this issue, too:
When you do have that discussion, here are some tips about what to watch (and watch out) for:
(Her timetable is echoed in the video at this article: When Will He Propose?)
Finally, here’s Dr. Phil showing the truth of one man’s marriage phobias.
And here’s what happened after the show.
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Best Wedding Proposals
Best wedding proposals? These are probably among the best for wedding proposal ideas and sense of style.
Vacation and proposal in San Diego
The pace of this video is a little slow, but the wedding proposal ideas are great. He planned everything carefully, and while I’m not certain she was completely surprised, he did a great job of putting this together.
If you’re looking for ideas, take notes. It’s a classic, fantasy proposal. He left nothing to chance.
How not to propose
This marriage proposal isn’t really on my “best” list, but it’s definitely unique.
Another original proposal
This is another video where I’m not 100% certain she was surprised, but the way he staged it was original and memorable.
A very surprised fiancee
If you want to see a woman who absolutely, positively had no idea a proposal was imminent, see this video. First, there’s the proposal. Then, she realizes that the crowd wasn’t just random. Then, she discovers something else he planned perfectly.
He’d been her boyfriend since her junior year of high school, and everything about this proposal was designed with her — and their future memories — in mind.
Mobbed wedding proposal
It’d be nearly impossible to plan a better wedding proposal than this. In fact, it’s easily on the list of top 10 best wedding proposals ever. (Have tissues handy before you watch this. It’s spectacularly happy.)
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Does He Want to Marry Me?
Does he want to marry me? That’s a reasonable question if your long-time boyfriend hasn’t proposed yet.
A lot of people would say this: If you’ve been with your man for a long time (more than a year) and you still don’t know if he’s easing his way to the altar, you have a problem.
Maybe you should ask him, flat-out, if he might ever consider marrying you.
After all, the only one who knows the answer to that question is your boyfriend.
Whether you ask him that question, point blank, or choose a gentler approach, you need an answer.
Some men are confirmed bachelors, and each of them intend to stay that way. If he’s one of them, you’d better find out… and soon: Does he want to marry you (or anyone), or not?
You can find advice online. Most of it is truly terrible, summed up in these two tips: First, fix yourself up so you’re more attractive. Then, play hard-to-get so he worries that he might lose you.
I’m not kidding. Here’s article with that kind of advice:
Getting Your Long Term Boyfriend To Propose To – Yes
coolfunpix.blogspot.com11/12/11
It’s been more than 5 years, but, has your boyfriend still not asked you for your hand in marriage? Do you see any signs that he will propose in near future? Do you know how to get your long term boyfriend to propose to you? …
That seems like a bad idea for anyone in a serious relationship. If you have to play those kinds of games, maybe you need to re-evaluate how you really feel about each other.
I’m writing this article in my bathrobe. My husband gave it to me for Christmas. He just stopped by my desk to kiss me. In fact, after more than eight years together, we’re still a very starry-eyed, mushy couple.
Once we were dating for awhile (months, not years), there was never any question about marriage. We knew we wanted to be together for the rest of our lives. Marriage made sense to us.
Of course, if you’ve stopped taking care of yourself — basic grooming, for example — maybe that’s a big, shrieking warning sign about your self-esteem. Address that issue, especially if the lack of a proposal is part of the problem.
You need to feel valued in your relationship.
So does he.
If both parts of that equation aren’t there… forget about marriage. If you’re sure you both feel the same way, and marriage is logical, there’s nothing wrong with asking.
No drama. No ultimatums. Nothing coy or cute. Just ask, and keep it light. (After all, if he’s on the same wavelength as you, he may be getting ready to surprise you with a proposal. Don’t spoil his fun!)
However, playing games, especially if you’re trying to force his hand, is childish.
Though it can help to send a cue that the relationship isn’t permanent until you have a ring on your finger, be careful not to send a fake message. It could backfire, and — if he thinks he’s about to lose you — he could start looking around for someone else, too.
Here’s some good advice from Cosmo: Will He Ever Marry You? In that article, the author explains that compatibility is less than half the reason why most men decide to pop the question. In fact, that article echoes some of the important points in the book, How to Make Someone Fall in Love With You in 90 Minutes or Less.
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When Will He Propose?
When will he propose?
If it doesn’t happen in the first year and a half, the answer may be: Never.
Here’s advice from a panel of men — single, taken, and married — about marriage proposals. I think it’s a good range of attitudes, to help you understand your man and whether or not it’s a serious relationship.
In this discussion, they also talk about what not to do — like an ultimatum — if you’re wondering when (and if) he’ll ever propose to you.
However, before you take that advice seriously, here’s something else to look at. Recent research has found some unexpected core issues that prevent wonderful couples from reaching the altar.
Even if you’re in a long-term relationship of many years, and it seems hopelessly stalled, you can reach “happily ever after.”
Before you throw in the towel on your relationship (despite what’s said in the previous video), take a look at the free video presentation, Girl Gets Ring. It’s an actual lesson that could answer all your questions, right away. It’s not a short video, and — if you’re like me — you’ll probably want to take notes.
However, before you decide that the answer to “When will he propose?” is “Never,” you owe it to yourself and your relationship to see what T. Dub Jackson says in his Girl Gets Ring video.
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Romantic Ways to Propose
If you — or your boyfriend — need some ideas for romantic ways to propose, here are some great videos.
If possible, find a way to record your proposal so you have this memory — as a video — to share with others, forever.
The Tree Marriage Proposal
The video is about six minutes long, and it’s something they’ll show to their children and grandchildren, many years from now.
So You Think You Can Dance (Canada) Proposal
This proposal is short, sweet, and the guy says what’s important.
The Fashion Show Proposal
You probably won’t be in a fashion show like this, but the guy gets the words exactly right.
The Motorola Commercial Proposal
It’s a short, clever proposal with ideas you could use for your own video proposal. (An in-person proposal should be part of this, of course.)
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Want Him to Propose? Visualize!
Do you want a marriage proposal? Even if you haven’t met Mr. Right yet, start by visualizing your engagement and wedding.
- If you aren’t already in a relationship, imagine yourself meeting the man of your dreams. You feel that magic inside, or that inner voice that tells you, This is the one. Hold onto that image. That marriage proposal could arrive sooner than you expect it to.
- Look at engagement rings. Decide which rings you like best. Imagine Mr. Right getting down on one knee to propose to you, and how you’ll feel when that happens.
- Review videos of great marriage proposals. Visualize how it will be when you’re proposed to.
- Start collecting pictures of wedding gowns you love. Keep them in a folder or even a scrapbook, so you can look at them often, imagining yourself wearing a wedding gown as you exchange your wedding vows.
- Keep a file of wedding reception ideas. Will you be in a hotel ballroom, a reception center, or barefoot on a beach? Select music you’d like. Think about the food: Do you want an elegant and impressive five-course dinner, or a burgers-and-tacos meal that everyone will enjoy?
Focus on how you’ll feel when it’s really happening. It’s that “Law of Attraction” stuff, and it works.
One of the first things to do is this: Order a wedding cake topper. I’m not kidding.
When it arrives in the mail, imagine yourself as the bride. Do this every couple of weeks, to reinforce your intention to attract a man who will love, appreciate, treasure and marry you.
If you can only afford an inexpensive wedding cake topper, it’s okay. However, the best one will be the cake topper you actually plan to use.
It’s a small investment, but an important one.
Find other ways to support your visualizations, and your confidence that you will get the ring, and you will be in a “happily ever after” marriage.
That may include “chick flicks” that show couples overcoming odds to be together. Classic romantic movies include The Rainmaker (the Katherine Hepburn and Burt Lancaster one), Sleepless in Seattle, and Serendipity.
If you love historical romances, few surpass the Colin Firth Pride and Prejudice mini-series, and the related movie, Lost in Austen.
Never give in to pessimism, or accept the cynical attitudes of people around you. There really is a “Mr. Right” for you. If you haven’t met him yet, he’s looking for you as eagerly as you’re watching for him.
Visualizations can help. Keep renewing them and building on them. You may be surprised how quickly you’re in a photo with the caption, “Girl gets ring.”
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